Monday, September 13, 2010

Faceless....

MaskImage by wokka via Flickr


Let's shed a little light on the darker side of the Manic Genius Syndrome... A little insight to one of my key motivators... I've spent a large chunk of my life shifting from one place to another... Never spending a great deal of time in any particular place.. The one constant has been the need to make somewhat of an impact.. No matter how small.. On those around me.. I've met thousands of people over the years.. I've learned a great deal from this.. I've learned that some of the best people I'll ever know, some of the best times I've ever had... Are only for a moment...

Now this seems all good.. But its left me with a unique phobia of sorts.. I don't really know how to explain it.. But I'll try.. The moment I begin to settle.. And become like those around me.. I lose myself.. I'll grow content.. And by now we know this isn't me.. I'm afraid I'll become faceless.. Just another face in the crowd.. My inhibitions.. My drive.. My personality.. My essence.. All run together..

Now luckily I've been able to use this to my advantage.. And I know it's a strange thing to fear.. But it is extremely true.. It's not really a form of vanity.. In my eyes.. But that wouldn't be a stretch from me...

But in short, its one of the reasons I constantly strive.. To grow content and stop pushing forward will lead to becoming faceless in the world.. 1 of the faceless billions.. Now don't take this the wrong way or anything.. I'm not implying that those who chose to settle down in a town.. And make a life for themselves immediately are faceless.. Its actually quite the opposite.. I envy the fact that people are well known in their towns.. Its something I've never got to truly experience.. And to be honest.. After being so used to the gypsy pace of my chronic moving.. I've embraced that part of me.. It has molded me into who I am today.. And I wouldn't trade that for the world..

Just like everyone else I have my phobias.. My motivators.. And this is one of them.. I can't honestly write all of this stuff and be content with sitting on the sidelines.. And I will keep pushing forward.. No matter what the road ahead has in store for me... I owe it myself.. I've been on this road a long time now... And its rarely been easy.. If ever.. But that's what makes it inspiring.. The stories, the good times, the memories, the friends, the experiences.. both good and bad.. I've been fortunate enough to travel this far.. To see what I've seen.. To see high life... To struggle to survive.. To live, love, laugh, learn every step of the way.. And its far from over.. I just have to remind myself from time to time..

As of late the pace of things has started to slow down.. Which if you know me.. Isn't an easy thing for me to cope with.. And I start to feel like I'm becoming faceless.. I anticipated this.. Hence this blog was created in the first place.. But as usual.. It just motivates me again...

So there you have it... Anyone else have one of those unique phobias?? Does anyone else have the same motivator?? If so feel free to share..

As always... Knock Hard... Life is Deaf...


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