Saturday, November 27, 2010


Image by Dioboss via Flickr

Eventually I will listen to myself. I will heed my own advice, and actually act upon what I already know. So many things have become increasingly apparent. It seems that if I focus on trying to be relevant, I lose the main battle I’ve been fighting all along. It’s not a struggle of trying to stay relevant or the next thing. That should resonate from me. I believe it does. I have what it takes to do whatever I set my mind to.

So as I sit here typing, listening to the Yoshida Brothers (as usual) i find myself thinking… STOP… Just stop trying… Stop trying to calculate options, Stop thinking about it… Just do it…

In the last couple of weeks I’ve found that I love writing, I still love the engineering field, and I still love business. I’ve come to realize that trying to play it safe has got me where I knew it would. I remember telling a certain someone (actually a couple of people) how things most likely would play out. To date I have been correct. I have played by the rules expected of me and have gotten what was expected, a very small spot on a small rung hidden in obscurity doing task that sound interesting but in reality is the exact opposite.

The important takeaways from my current trajectory are clear. I have learned so much (to my surprise) about life, work, and myself. For this I am extremely grateful. It has re-enforced my conviction. By playing it safe I do get to survive; however, what makes me well me is lost in the calm waters of contentedness. I’ve become a mere sleepy bystander, without a face, that drudges throughout the day to a fictional light at the end of the tunnel.

Now I know this is in sharp contrast to what I preach rampantly on this site. I know. In true Manic Genius fashion I have worked fervently on a something. There has been a plan all along. I just have to remember to stick to it and not get lost in the predicament I’ve been fortunate to have found myself in. This year has been an interesting one. I have so much to be thankful for. The list is long and contains about everything you might imagine. I understand that life is a gift, and one should not take it for granted. Hence I plan to make the most of it. Every endeavor I find myself in, I hope to gain the most.

I must remember who I am, what I stand for, what I want to do, and actually achieve the goals I set out for. The obstacles are never ending… The journey is never easy… But as sure as the sun rises, I’ll be there continuing onward. It’s that first step that is the hardest. The free fall we are experiencing now has taught us many lessons. They differ from person to person.

There is still plenty of time… But that is a comfortable saying for those eager to accept their fate… I know I don’t make much sense… Part of the mania I guess… All that matters truly is that I know… All you must understand is that you will never achieve without sacrifice. 

As Always… Knock Hard… Life is Deaf…
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Monday, November 22, 2010

Me vs. the World

Ding Ding... Round Whatever... Here we go again... Me vs. the World... I see you... Sneaking up on me...

The first Earthrise photographed by humansImage via Wikipedia

It’s always something. It’s as if I cannot coexist in the world I find myself living in. It’s as if the world uses its collective powers to screw with me. That’s okay though, just like the times before and the times to come, I will overcome. It’s a war, not a battle, and with every little dilemma, which to be honest seems catastrophic once it arrives, is nothing more but a mere hurdle. Keep plotting you fickle mistress; keep trying, because you won’t win. With each attempt, each play you make, I’m here... Waiting... Ready to go…

I swear this give and take relationship has been a lifelong endeavor. If it wasn’t for bad luck, I’d have no luck at all. This is not as simple as to categorize as mere complaining. It’s a realization that continues to drive my conviction. Every time a defining moment arises something goes haywire. Some are simply self-inflicted, never knowing what the outcome could have been. Others were completely out of my control. This cycle will continue, as I assume it does with everyone.

Life, death, life altering moments, decisions with unforeseen consequences made in desperation, acts of God that shape a new course far from the one envisioned. That’s all okay with me. Take what you must. In the end I will still get what seems to be constantly denied.

Who I was, who I am, and what I’ve become is all due to the path I’ve chosen to walk, as varied as its been, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world that I’m battling. The highs and the lows are part of the journey. They are part of the fun. Then anguish, the joy, the mind numbing struggles, the complications, the people involved, the story that has been told and the one that will unfold are all part of this epic struggle between me and the world.

A simplified exaggeration, or a simple truth, who knows... Who cares…? If it propels me to continue onward so be it… The things I’ve wanted to become and what I’ve become will merge in the end. This struggle is more epic than any found in a book, for this is very real, very personal.

It would seem as an extremely egocentric stance if I didn’t truly believe that this struggle has been everything but extraordinary. It has last a lifetime and looks to still do so. It started at birth and is constantly staring me in the face. The one thing it has taught me is that my true strength lies in me. Nothing can derail what I want. I stand strong still, and always have. Sure temporary lapses happen, but that is true for us all. I continue to stand up and dust myself off. For those that get an easy route, I earn it. This is fine by me. I’ll toe the line with anyone, anything, anywhere. Resourceful is what this life has made me. It has prepared me with the necessary tools.

These tools come from a life floating from location to location just long enough to be forgotten. The experiences last a lifetime; the skills absorbed have served me well and shall continue to do so. I just cannot understand why people don’t have the same conviction as me. Perhaps that is what I’m supposed to learn from this. Sharing seems irrelevant, my goals will always been in sight.

I know that can handle anything… I know myself which is half the battle… It’s the rest of this world that is confused… It’s lost in itself, consumed by its own motives and the ones within it…

I may be an afterthought for the time being… just another faceless person in the crowd amongst the masses… That’s fine for now… I just wish I could find a way to stay off the radar of the powers that be… whoever… whatever sees it necessary to continue screwing with the path I walk upon… A mountain is a mere hill in the grand scheme of things… People are just puppets in this play (not all but in large part)… The story wouldn’t be spectacular if it were easy…

Signs of madness… maybe… it’s a staple for me though… If you think you have it bad, even if I think I have it bad, I know others have to be struggling with similar or even greater things… what gives me the right to grow content… to give up on this… to give up on myself… nothing  does… so it will never happen…

I know how bad I want it.... Do you know? 

As Always… Knock Hard… Life is Deaf…
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Thursday, November 18, 2010

Success and Breathing

Watch this. Then think. Read some. Think some more. Comment if you feel inclined to do so.

 Ladies and gentlemen, I present a unique take on what I’ve been trying to say, from Eric Thomas. This is the first video clip that I've ever seen of him. I can say without a doubt that Mr. Thomas has a great presence, a great message, and great delivery. If it doesn't make you think, you weren't listening. 

Since the ocean is a common backdrop in my stories, his speech is right on par with my message. Determination goes hand and hand with your individual success. Nobody, this includes family and any guru, can give you success. It is simply earned. If it was just handed to you, you would lose it. This is simply because you value what you earn. It takes effort, will, determination, and drive to achieve your dreams. I hope your takeaway from my message, and that of Eric Thomas, resonate loudly with you. Success doesn’t necessarily come in the form of money. It can be your family, your art, your writing, or whatever you want to achieve. It’s never easy, but nothing worth anything is. Life and everything you encounter in it is complicated. Those who overcome, adapt, and achieve never give up, they never give in to the easy way out. I hope you all truly believe this. It’s okay not to have the drive…. Well that’s a lie… Not in my eyes… It’s not okay to merely slide thru life… Do what must be done, to achieve what you want in the end!

As Always… Knock Hard… Life is Deaf… 

Friday, November 12, 2010 Preview

**** This is not a paid ad****

I've simply stumbled across it and would like to show you what it does. It can use word files, pdf, etc. Browse their site for a full detailed rundown of their services. I currently use the free version. This could be entertaining, or used to set you apart from the pack. Of course, this is strictly up to you. Hell, even create your own digital magazine!

The formatting is a little off. But the general idea is pushed across. You can use to make digital publications of anything you want. It can even contain other types of media. I find this site tremendously entertaining. I encourage you to use it for your creative needs. You can create a library of photo books, reports, anything... and chose to keep it private or share it with the world. Not bad for a free flip page software for your digital publishing needs.

If you're a photographer I do believe it adds a new perspective for you. If you are in business, you can create catalogs or present data in a new light. Face it, PowerPoint is pretty lame. Use it to house your poetry, reports, brochures, stories, music sheet, or anything else you want.

*** Report above is a transfered word document formatted school report from back in the day***

Short and sweet post.

As Always... Knock Hard... Life is Deaf...

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Veteran’s Day Thoughts

Image of ribbons and badges of a US Navy sailo...Image via Wikipedia

This is a day often used to celebrate those that do or have served, those that have sacrificed a portion of their lives, or they actual gave their lives for their country. I hope people actually understand just what a veteran really embodies. It’s not just a freedom fighter. Veterans are people who in the good times and the bad step forward. They are willing to do what so few are.  I have been fortunate enough to have so many around me, either that I have served with or have been affiliated with the armed services in some fashion, and can tell you that there is really more than what meets the eye.

A veteran has developed themselves to be able to branch from their comfort zone. The basic backbone of honor, courage, commitment, and last but not least integrity build more than just a wall of freedom for all of us. It trickles into the daily lives of everyday people. Leadership to see things through to the end benefits families, businesses, communities, etc. The ability to do what is right, not because it is easy, but because it simply is the right thing to do. Accountability is a takeaway that promotes maturity, responsibility, and ensures that those tasks are carried out appropriately the first time. The military holds itself to a high standard, believe it or not, and those that partake in it generally make great citizens, businessmen, employees, etc. It truly is sad that most people do not realize this. Most vets get treated as an after thought, with nothing more than a thank you twice a year. Often, they get cast aside until a war arises or are considered mindless drones programmed to operate in only one certain fashion.

Officer or enlisted, those that serve or have served, form the very foundation of the country you live in. You don’t have to agree with me, as this is my opinion, but the best leaders come from the military. Not some fancy prep school, or a gold spoon in their grasp. Vets from all branches start out at the same place, the bottom. You have to earn your way up. That determination drives so much creativity, so much innovation, and so much inspiration in the daily activities in this world that it gets overlooked.

Veterans are usually modest. They never ask for much. It is awesome that people are taking notice to their sacrifices. Still it is sad that many vets find it hard to find gainful employment. That vets are labeled or stereotyped as lazy federal employees. That most that die are not mentioned, or swiftly forgotten by those they protect… People in military towns grow used to the servicemen and women... and will often complain about them… even though they are no different that any civilian… and their presence fuel s many local economies. Military spending is criticized often. Many of those critics have never picked up a rifle, or been forward deployed. To those critics I say walk that talk. See if it really as easy as you perceive. I’m sure you will find a new found respect those that pay the ultimate price for your rights. All of them, even those we don’t all agree with. That is what makes this country so great isn’t it, your freedoms?

I really hope everyone is aware of what a veteran embodies. I hope you actually realize their value to you and your country. They are not just names in a uniform, on a wall, or on a statue. They are people just like you and me. They stand for something greater than their selves. Do your entertainment idols do the same? Do those self absorbed fame hunters? WE vets do. We don’t expect much. WE ARE happy to do what must be 
done. All I ask is that people really realize what WE stand for.

As Always… Knock Hard… Life is Deaf… 
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Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Updates: I'm Still Here

St. Augustine writing, revising, and re-writin...Image via Wikipedia

Okay. I’ve been missing in action, per say, as to keeping with any kind of blog posting schedule. That’s acceptable though, as I have been working on something huge. I’ve created my first digital publication. I was going to post about a few weeks back, but once I started to work on the first publication I stumbled onto a grand idea… Take some of my old writings and make a novel out of it. The outline itself is roughly 27 pages! Not too shabby at all, and it looks to be a massive undertaking. I’ve decided not to post my first attempt at a digital publication due to lack of copyrighting it yet. Maybe one day that will change.
I’ve decided that this writing thing is something that I rather enjoy. It does get frustrating from time to time, and just like everything you have to just keep pushing onward. I’m still experimenting with the different styles of writing to find what I feel fits me the best. I know I have strong opinions, and the drive to see these endeavors through to the end. But rest assured, I’m still going to do my thing here with you guys.

I've added an email address under the Contact tab for those who wish to do so. It would be absolutely amazing if I got any sort of feedback. Even with my last post, the room remains quite. This is a terribly frustrating thing. It seems as if what “they” say is true. People are too lazy to read. This is so sad, yet so true. This lack of passion, thought, or feedback still drives most of my ranting though… so even if it is inadvertent.. It still helped me... Ha Ha Ha… Suckers... 

I still plan on posting about issuu with a fully functional digital publication for you guys to view, and the benefits  it could provide you. I will get around to fixing the headquarters site and adding to its content soon as well. A lot of things to keep up with, but that's part of this whole process. 

As always... Knock Hard... Life is Deaf...
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